It's 2010 already and already im stressed with lots of things. Kept getting this terrible headache from i-don't-know-what. Let's see what's making me stress and headaches...

First up is work. Obviously. This year i'm teaching both nursery and pre-nursery so i got to adjust my body timing. I'm so used to going back ard 3pm latest, this year i'm goin back as late as 5pm. My body is not used to it as i always had a short nap in the afternoon. Also workload is heavier from MOE and HQ. Don't want to elaborate that. I don't want to compare or anything but this year batch of children is so smart and very active. By the end of 11am, im already tired. And when pre-nursey ends at 3pm, my energy just drained out! This is only the first month, 1 got about 9 months more to go! However, i'm hoping a better work for myself this year.

Secondly, it's about Dear & me. Still contemplating whether want to have the ceremony or just simple family thingy. I want the latter but Dear wants to do ceremony. Hmmm...we'll just see how it is.

My social life sucks. No time to spend with Besties 'cause of the different work/school schedules. And of course money talks. Want to go out must at least have a few dollars but how when im tied down with so many things? Insurance, savings, bills...! The money doesn't roll in. I deserved a better pay!

Now im beginning to feel like my life sucks too. So boring, nothing interesting, no excitement to share with people. My life is like a routine everyday. I do the same thing day in and day out. Shit! I hate it!

Time do past fast. I felt like it was yesterday we were together. The ups and downs we went through together. Our relationship started when we were just teenagers and now we are working adults. There are times when I wonder whether he is the guy that I am going to spend my life with or is he just a boyfriend for now? We do have plans for our future since the start of our relationship. Now, it looks like the plans are kicking in! Engagement, marriage, children, house...! Gosh! I just can’t believe it’s so going to happen soon. However, it was not always smooth sailing for us both. We had gone through lots of misery, disapproval and all kind of emotions before we are like what we are now (even though I’m sure there’s more to come!).

We broke up twice before. First time was because he was always busy with school until he had no time for me at all. Second time was because I was still thinking of another guy. Somehow we managed to overcome the problems. We talked about it, discussed on how we could compromise with each other, that sort of things. But guess what? I just found out that I could have lost him forever if not because of a call. He told me this secret recently, that on that particular night, his mind was set to forget about me and moved on. His friend even gave him a girl number and asked him to call her. So, he did. He was talking to her, getting to know her and when suddenly he got a call from me. He ended his conversation with her and answered my call. I wanted him back because I was feeling miserable without him and I was foolish to let him go just like that after being together for so long. When he told me about this, I nearly cried because if not because of the call, I would not have been with him right now! Funny thing how this fate thingy works. But it’s called fate so...

This will sound so sappy and mushy and so not me. But I have to say it. I have never been so in love and so into the relationship before. Now, I really know how it is. I treasure every moment I have with him. Not a single day passes by without me thinking about him. I grab any opportunity that comes by to spend time with him even for a little while. Soon, we will embark to another phase of our relationship where new things will crop out and new experience for us both. I’ll pray for our well-being together and may our relationship ends in marriage, I love you and HAPPY 9TH YEARS ANNIVERSARY SAYANG!

I may be in a long-term relationship but i guess that doesn't mean i've seen & heard everything about love & relationship. Every relationship is different and yes, love is complicated. I may not understand why sometimes people are in love with the 'wrong' person or get stuck in a sticky situation but i guess that's how love works. Only the person knows better. I've personally been in that type of situation and somehow it jeopardize my relationship with the person i now love most. I know it's wrong but i just can't shake off the feelings. Later into the years, after much thinking and heartbreaking moments, i realise that the saying, "If you love somebody, you've got to let him go. And if he ever comes back, then you know it was meant to be", was somehow true. Not easy to let go of someone who you have feelings for but in a way you know he/she will be happy wherever they are. It's no use having feeling for someone you know you won't be able to have because the misery will creep up into your life. After letting go of my past and looking at the present, i'm now more happier and so looking forward to the future. Love...the crazy feeling that you can get when you are in love.

Happy 44th Birthday Singapore!!! Today is National Day and as usual im at home, waiting for the NDP on Ch 5, as like any other years.

Right now, im supposedly be planning my syllabus for term 4 but im so stuck at FB. Mum and Dad not at home as they went back to Masai late last night to settle things there. Left me ad bro, who had his friends over to cook up a storm at the kitchen later. Hopefully they dont mess up the kitchen. So bored...I want to go out but there's nobody to go out with. Chit...

Coming events...

*Zoo Trip with Besties on the 15th August
*Teacher's Day Dinner @ Carousel on the 21st August
*Fasting Month starts on the 22nd August
*Teacher's Day on the 1st September
*1 week September holiday starts on the 5th September
*Hari Raya Puasa on the 20th September
*MY 23RD BIRTHDAY ON THE 25TH SEPTEMBER!!!

Ouhkies...i better get back to work.

It's nearly 1am. I've been siting in front of the laptop since 8pm, supposedly do my children's picture portfolios. Instead, i was busy doing don't-know-what at FB! It is so distracting sia! Now i've completed 2 of it, 13 more to go...

School will reopen on Monday. I just don't understand why they never extend the holidays. I mean it's not for the teachers advantage but at least things can be in control and not when things happen already then want to take action. But whatever it is, it's the MOE who give the calls so we go no say in this.

I'm seriously need to lose weight or i will be fat. No that i say fat is not good (well it is actually not good in a way), but im gaining weight and that's bad news. Luckily, i've started to jog and i got people to accompany me. Thanks Dear & Elfie for making the effort to come all the way here to jog together with me. This should be a rountine for us if not i will lose motivation to jog. Also, my parents bought an exercise machine so i can use that everyday. My aim is to lose some kilos before Raya.

I can't wait for later gathering at Simpang Bedok. Not sure who will be there. Will update that with some pictures after the event.

Ok...i better do some of the portfolio.

nurul huda bte abdul razak
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happily attached
pre-school educator

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